BEC 《本叔的商業英語》2 – 如何应报销(谈代理)
同一件事,同一个立场,用上不同的写法出来的效果会完全不同。本篇的例子很能体会现出来。全篇英文写得表达到位,但就感觉不是在聊生意,而是在谈判。那你会问:叔,人生不就是一场又一场的谈判吗?叔一个苦笑,说:谈判是不是都要穿上西装在会议室那种才叫谈判呢? ?其实绝大部份的决策,都是在谈笑风生casual的情况下成型的。而这种气氛,就是要业务猿你去营造的了。好的BE能做到這一點。
以下是这案例的背景:
1.???一款产品开发出来,花费了差不多50万人民币,一年只开发1-2款。
2.??一个业务员将这款产品推荐给合作多年的马来西亚老客户(这个老客户也是这个业务员当年辛辛苦苦从竞争对手那里抢回来的,一年数量1000;后来客户在市场上发现另外一个人(这个是后面开发的新客户)也在卖这个产品,一年数量1500.
3.???跟进这个老客户的业务员更换成另外一个业务员,老客户亚谈包销,新业务回复如下:
Dear AAA,
?May i ask your annual demand for each model if it is the exclusive model in your market??(一来就问人你付得起多少钱,叔叔我卖巧克力的,我不敢。。。我丑我先睡去。。。)
?? Please let me explain the exclusivity in our company as following: ?(不错,用letme explain让人舒服。这里用exclusivity policy会比较好,让人感觉我们是一视同仁的。)
1) The tooling cost for each model is around xx,xxx USD.
2) The certificate cost for each model is around xx,xxx USD.
3) It will take at least 8 months to finish one new BPM model, the development cost is xx,xxx USD.
?Totally, it will cost xx,xx USD for one model, please kindly understand that we need to keep the balance between invenstment and output (orders ).
?Based on the very large cost on one NEW BPM model, Normally, we will not sign the exclusivity with customers,there are two solutions for the product conflict:
1) For the models you selected, please tell us the annual demand and we will check if it is possible to keep you as the only distributor (不是only distributor, 而是sole agency/ sole distributor) in your market.
2) If the annual demand is small, we will suggest to make the product colour different for avoiding the conflict. (我看到你在提供其他方案了,这点不错。)
?So far , the orders from BBB is more than yours, (哇,你是在说:AAA你算老几?)so it is very hard to make the decision, however, we respect our relationship, (啊,那真是皇恩已沐啊。。。)Any more suggestion, please feel free to tell us and let’s discuss about it.?(其实这句就跟微信第一个微笑脸一样,有种呵呵的感觉了。。。)
Best regards,
XXX
整体来说,这篇BE写得还可以。我一直强调,BE(business English)不是要多华丽的英文语句,而是在于沟通,思维在语言之上。这一篇算是达到这一个标准了,只是语气太强硬。想必你对多年的朋友绝不会如此吧?所以,这篇问题点在于英语表达。
我听不少老外说过对中国商人的感觉是唯利是图。说真的,这是废话中的废话,难道要跟你说好做彼此的天使吗。。。但他们之所以这样说,我看很多时候问题是出在表达。这一篇就大概有点这个意味了。一个辛苦争取来了然后合作多年的伙伴受到冷待的故事。我当然知道你们不是这个意思,不如我们看看怎样改会比较好。
Hi AAA,
First of all I would like to appreciate your intention to work exclusively with us.? This mean to me our product can serve your market well and I assume that also mean you are happy with our relationship. ?(这是个事实。我的产品能帮你卖钱,我们都应该很高兴)Look back to our long successful history it make perfect sense we can work further and closer together. (回顾一下,对双方历史性的作出高度认同。。。)
Yet, being exclusive could be a direct financial hit to our business.? Here I list out my concerns:
1.ROI:? Considerable investment (Considerable是個得體的字,沒說我們投了多少,但也是沒有太少,還是值得重視的)in our NPI (New product introduction, NPI,新產品開發流程)process:? Design, tooling, certification, timing.. etc. if you are interested I can send you a breakdown to give you a better idea.
2.Put yourself into my shoes (大慨可以譯為「將心比心」吧,很好用,很常用來說服客戶)I wish you could understand where I come from.? I need to go volume (剛巧,也真是剛巧,「走量」的英語用法是go volume。這不是中式英文) in order to amortize (啊,這字挺深的啊。「分攤」是意思。模具之類的固定成本要分攤到單件上,就是用這個生詞)my cost. ?
3.As a result, I would be more than happy(比快樂還快樂?不知咋譯, 反正就是表達快樂到不要不要的意思吧)to discuss with anyone about exclusivity (獨家經營)with a contracted volume.? (這裡也表達了我們是要用合同的,而不是隨便說說的)This way I could focus on my manufacturing role while partnering with local market expert on sales.? (我們就這樣分工吧!我專心生產你專心賣賣賣!)
Having said that, other factors like branding effort, channel coverage….etc could be of consideration. ?
I am open for discussion if the above sound reasonable to you. (「你若是聽起來合理」。這句用中譯絕對是怪怪的。這世上既有中式英文,那有西式中文也好像說得過去吧?我想說的是,世上的語言都有自己背後的logic。而這些logic又跟他們的文化歷史有關。勉強拉在一起就會「怪怪的」了)。?
Meanwhile, I believe being exclusive is NOT the only way to be of best interest to us.? (「其實我們是不想跟你談獨家的」會聊天版本。不把話說死,但我們隨了聊獨家其實還有很多可以聊的。用上對的語言,就能把這些話表達得有技巧)There must be some more opportunity.
I am open for discussion if the above sound reasonable to you.? Meanwhile, I believe being exclusive is NOT the only way to be of best interest to us.? There must be some more opportunity.
Thanks for the trust and the business.? We will keep talking.
Regards,
Ben
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